Welcome Back

I had planned on writing about Back to Church Sunday in September.  I kept hearing people say they couldn't possibly go back to church because the roof might fall in on them.  I didn't write it in a timely manner and thought I would just drop it because it wasn't as relevant due to the time lapse.

Yet here I am writing about it now.  This sentiment of feeling so far gone--the idea that you are so far from God that you can't come back or that He wouldn't want you--seems to be all around.  I've heard it from people I know, acquaintances, and even saw facebook posts from people I'd never talked to before.

My initial thought was, even if you did something so terrible that God didn't want you back, why would the roof fall in on good people just because of one bad person?  Afterall, even regarding Sodom and Gomorrah, the Lord compromised with Abraham.  Genesis 18:32 says, "He answered, 'For the sake of ten [righteous people], I will not destroy it.'"

God provides opportunities to people to turn away from the bad and draw close to Him once again.  The city of Ninevah seemed like it would face a fate similar to Sodom and Gomorrah.  Jonah finally accepted his call and warned the people to repent or face God's wrath.  Jonah 3:10 says, "When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened."

God doesn't simply refrain from punishment; He demonstrates His concern for His people. God's concern is illustrated by comparing it to Jonah's affection for a plant that brings him comfort:  "But the Lord said, 'You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow.  It sprang up overnight and died overnight.  And should I not have concern for the great city of Ninevah, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right and from their left--and also many animals?'"

God's concern, caring, and compassion for His people are repeated throughout the Bible.

At the Women of Faith conference in Pittsburgh, Sheila Walsh reminded me of another story that exemplifies how much God wants us back.

               Then Jesus told them this parable:  "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of
          them.  Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds
          it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.  Then he calls his friends
          and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'  I tell you that in the
          same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine
          righteous persons who do not need to repent."  Luke 15:3-7

Sheila spoke of a loving, caring shepherd that sought out the lost sheep.  A shepherd that was consumed with joy over the sheep's return.  She said, "You can't do anything to make Him love you.  And there's nothing you can do to make him stop loving you."

This put into perspective once again that it is not what we do, but what Christ did.  This is the pivotal event. Such things as pride, ego, guilt, shame make us lose sight of this.

Christ died for our sins. God welcomes us back and provides us opportunities to draw near to Him.  We only have to be found, to say, "Lord, here I am."

~Hollie

The Main Attraction

Praise the Lord.  Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.  Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.  Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with timbrel and dancing, praise him with the strings and pipe, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals.  Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.  Praise the Lord.

Psalm 150:1-6 (NIV)

I admit that I did little to prepare myself for the Women of Faith conference in Pittsburgh last weekend.  I anticipated going, but with my friend Jamie planning everything, my task was simply to be present.  As excited as I was to attend, I didn't look at the schedule.  So when it was announced that after lunch break, Third Day would be in concert, I couldn't help but grin widely.

I had seen Third Day in concert before, probably several times, but this Third Day concert was different from the numerous other Christian concerts I attended.

My first concert set the tone for all the others.  While in junior high, I went with a few friends to a local Christian college to see the Newsboys, of whom I had never heard.  After an electric performance, we stayed to meet the band, pose for pictures, garner autographs.  Whereas I listened to lyrics about God, I embraced a bit of a groupie mentality.

The other concerts were the same--a bucket list, a series of who's whos, a game of "bigger and better" (a game which, ironically, I did learn while camping at Creation).

When this Third Day concert began, though, I experienced something different--calm through the commotion, communing with the Holy Spirit, an atmosphere of adoration.  I realized that I had matured since my former concerts.  

The speakers, the worship team, and the prayers had all prepared my spirit for its purpose:  praise. 

How exhilarating it was to worship God with Third Day!  During the concert, my only thought was, "To the glory of God!"  

Now I can't imagine going to a concert and it being about the band.  Clearly God is the main attraction.

Eyes on the Prize

Food for thought:  Whether I have a superiority complex or an inferiority complex, I am focusing on myself, not on God.


This morning when I woke at 5:00, the first thing I heard was the rain.  I groaned when I realized I would have to drive in the rain and in the dark.  I don't see well in those conditions, so driving feels frightening and unsafe.  I considered climbing back into a warm bed, getting more much-needed sleep, and skipping my trip altogether.  I'd only invested $25, and I reasoned that if I wrecked my car...well, I couldn't afford to wreck my car.

A voice inside asked me, "If you can't face the rain and the dark to do something you want to do now, how will you ever do the harder things you're asked to do?  Besides, there is a reason for you to be there."

I lay back down in bed and stared at my alarm clock's red numbers.  And got back up again.

I am so thankful I did.

On my way to the Women of Faith conference in Pittsburgh, I faced little rain.  I watched an obstructed sunrise brighten the horizon as "10,000 Reasons" played on K-LOVE.  I drove south toward the city and an entire foggy sky turned into a lovely golden haze so I was surrounded by light.  

I didn't even get frustrated about getting lost once...and almost getting lost a second time.  

Sheryl Brady reiterated that there was a reason each of us was present.  Through the combined messages of Tullian Tchividjian and Sheila Walsh I needed to hear that it was okay I didn't get a "promotion" at work earlier this year.  I struggled first with an issue of pride when it happened, and more recently with an issue of self-worth.

Fortunately, God doesn't judge my worth by my failure to get promoted or by reputation at work, and neither should I.  Tchividjian further asserted that I am not defined by how my kids behave, how clean my house is, or how happy my marriage is, especially when compared to someone else's.  I learned that striving for perfection in these areas in my life is a way of defining myself, and defining myself by any of these things is the equivalent of trying to save myself, which will only leave me exhausted.  

This lesson reminded me of the lyrics to two different songs.  First, Big Daddy Weave's Redeemed professes:  "Seems like all I could see was the struggle // Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past // Bound up in shackles of all my failures // Wondering how long is this gonna last // Then You look at this prisoner and say to me // 'Son, stop fighting a fight that's already been won'."  In the second song, The Struggle, Tenth Avenue North proclaims, "Hallelujah // We are free to struggle // We're not struggling to be free // Your blood bough and // Makes us children // Children drop your chains and sing."

I've heard these messages again and again, but today it really sank in:  Jesus freed me, and I can fail as much or as little as I do; it's not what I do that defines me, it's what Jesus did. Tchividjian emphasized the same "inexhaustible grace" that finds it way into the subtitle of his book, "One Way Love:  Inexhaustible Grace for an Exhausted World."

I don't want to be exhausted anymore.  I don't want a superiority complex or an inferiority complex.  Either way, my focus was not in the right place.  I have to keep my eyes on the prize, which has "already been won."  

So for this reason, and many more that will likely be elaborated through future blogs, I am glad I ventured out this morning.  Instead of returning to my cozy bed, I affirmed, "Lord, here I am."

~Hollie

Family in Need

"In the passage where the New Testament says that every one must work, it gives as a reason 'in order that he may have something to give to those in need'.  Charity--giving to the poor--is an essential part of Christian morality:  in the frightening parable of the sheep and the goats it seems to be the point on which everything turns.  Some people nowadays say that charity ought to be unnecessary and that instead of giving to the poor we ought to be producing a society in which there were no poor to give to.  They may be quite right in saying that we ought to produce this kind of society.  But if anyone thinks that, as a consequence, you can stop giving in the meantime, then he has parted company with all Christian morality.  I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give.  I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare."  
C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

One Saturday this summer, when we were leaving Walmart, we saw a family of six or seven near the exit in a grassy spot.  The father was holding a sign that said he was out of work, and they needed money for food and rent.  I'm not sure how George reacted, but I kind of looked down with a feeling of disappointment, knowing I had no money on me to give, even though we had just shopped for various items at the store.  We were going to the grocery store next, yet I was carrying no cash.

George and I did our grocery shopping and at home, as we were putting our groceries away, we discussed that family.  I had been worried he would think that the family was not really in need, but I definitely had underestimated him.  He said there was a local restaurant, at which he thought the man was a worker, and it was closed with a bright orange sign on the door.  It had been bothering my husband that he had no cash on him to give them either.

We decided that I would finish putting away groceries, and George would go to an ATM.  If the family was still there, he would give them some money.

George came home and reported that the family had left.  We were both feeling disappointed that we had not given in their time of need.  We vowed to start carrying cash, not for ourselves, but in case we needed to give it away!

The money stayed in George's wallet.

The next day when we were at church, there was a young, expecting couple that was planning a missions trip to Somalia.  They captivated us as they told of God's plan for them to evangelize in a country that is 99.9% Muslim.  At the end of the service, they collected money in baskets to help with their budget for the trip.

Guess who had money to give?

George and I learned our lesson, not just to be givers, or joyful givers, or beyond-what-you-can-spare givers, but to be prepared givers because sometimes the time to give is not when you are expecting it.

No Alternative Fuel

Currently I'm working my way through Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.  It had been recommended to me while I was in high school, at the same time as The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but I don't know that I could have handled it then.  While doing devotions on my SheReadsTruth app, though, I came across a comment that referenced it, and I thought it was time I read it.

I was surprised by the following passage in the chapter "The Shocking Alternative":  

"And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history--money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery--the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.  The reason why it can never succeed is this.  God made us:  invented us as a man invents an engine.  A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else.  Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself.  He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to feed on.  There is no other."

Comparing our spirituality to a car?  You might think I'd never pondered it, but I had.  The fact that I'd done it so recently and by a revelation, and now here I was, stumbling over it in my reading, that's what surprised me.

I had been praying for guidance for my husband, mostly with his career in mind, though also somewhat generally.  And while sitting in church, listening to a sermon, I got a special (separate) message:  A car without a driver cannot steer itself; but even a car with a driver, if it does not have gas, cannot go where the driver steers it.  Not a direct quote, but I think I've captured the gist.  

I had never thought of it this way before, though I probably should have.  Afterall, I learned from my earthly father that you never leave for a car trip with less than a full tank.  While I still prayed for direction and guidance, I added to my request spiritual fullness.  I praised God, and I wanted to make sure that as He was leading, we were ready to follow--and had the fuel to do it!

I was reminded of this once more over the weekend as we were returning home from Rochester.  My husband had put enough gas in the car to get us to Erie, where we could buy more gas cheaper.  Evidently he didn't pick up on the same travelling lesson I had.  

As we were nearing the PA border, I glanced over to see the car's estimation of how much further we could go.  We were in trouble.  We were down to the last 10 miles, and we were on the interstate.  We watched as it dropped to 5, to 0.  We had to pass an exit that did not advertise a gas station.  

I prayed.  Fervently.  And then my mind began calculating, "If we break down, maybe I can call Mentha, and I can ask her to bring us gas?"  

I chastised myself to have faith and prayed some more.  We were pulling up to a gas station with six pumps, five of them full, and a car in front of us was turning in too.  I groaned.  The car pulled into a parking spot instead, and we got right into a pump.  God provided.  It sounds so simple, and someone will probably try to explain the engine and how much gas was probably still in the tank, but God provided.

And not just that, but as Lewis pointed out, He is the fuel.  We can seek other things in this life, but nothing else and no one else will satisfy us like He can.  Sometimes we just need to be reminded.  Again.  And again.  I know I am.

~Hollie

The Copier

I was sitting at my desk today when I thought I heard one coworker ask another, "Do you need Jesus?"  I realized a second later that she had asked, "Do you need to use this?" about the copier, but it made me stop and catch my breath.

Does she need Jesus?  Do I?

My son came home from daycare with a behavioral progress report, and one area that is appropriate for him to develop at his age is recognizing need vs. want.  I may be an adult, but in our affluent culture, I sometimes have trouble discerning my needs from my wants.

And I'm still learning how much I need Jesus.  I tend to be a self-relier and (try to) make things happen on my own.  I am trying to be conscious of not forcing thing to happen.  I need to continue to step back, pray, rely on God, exercise patience, copy Jesus's example in daily living, need Him.

Are You Who You Want to Be?

You may not know this, but Switchfoot is one of my favorite bands, and they have been since high school. The first time I ever heard them was on a $1.99 (I got it for free) sample album I got at a Christian music festival.  They are one of those bands who've grown along side me as I've gotten older.  "This Is Your Life" has been dogging me lately, playing on the radio a little more frequently than usual.

This year I had my 15 year high school reunion.  A lot of people I know have the mentality that anyone they went to high school with and wanted to keep in touch with, they did.  They don't really have any interest in going to a reunion and possibly crossing paths with people they won't want to see.  

     

But here's what I found out as I anticipated attending my reunion.  I would reflect more on my life than I would on that of any of my old schoolmates.  I would consider what I wanted to do and be, what decisions and mistakes I had made, and whether I was happy in my life.

     

I was wary about telling everyone that I'd moved away from our little town just to move right back.  I was reluctant to admit I was working in banking, the same profession my mother had--which I thought I would never do myself.  I had no major successes according to the world's standard.

     

Yet I am thrilled that moving has made me close to my family once again.  In our move, we gained a new church family.  I have become close to God again, and I've seen my husband grow tremendously in his faith.  I immensely enjoy the work I do daily and I have such wonderful coworkers that it is more appropriate to call them friends.  If I tried right now, I probably could not even number all the ways I've been blessed.

     

Reunion or not, this became a time for me to reflect on my life and to ask myself if I am happy or not?  Am I closer to who I'm meant to be?  Am I blessed?

     

I am.

~Hollie